Saturday, November 12, 2016

2016 Chariot Wars video!

Chariot Wars 2016 from Jake Ryder on Vimeo.

Also, follow @benhurt_chariotwars on instagram for repostings of other people's photos from previous chariot wars! They need your likes. Seriously. They're fucking desperate for them. (No, J_Ryde is not running that account. So fuck off)

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Chariot Wars Videos

With 2017 fast approaching we give you videos from years past! Maybe some you haven't seen yet...




Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Friday, February 12, 2016

BEN HURT: TOMORROW!

The battle begins tomorrow! Be there or git fucked!

NO GLASS!



February 13th., 2016
Meet for Brunch at Dawson Park, PDX and be ready to ride from there.
Brunch starts at 11 AM
Ride to the battle leaves at 1 PM
RIDE YOUR FUCKING BIKE!
NO GLASS!

Lots of people will be out taking photos! That's great, but share your photos with everyone! Use hash tags #BenHurt #ChariotWars and #MBW2016

And read the rules! 

 Other events for the weekend:

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

2016 Ben Hurt!



Alright you fucking Sad Sacks. Chariot Wars returns for another year of brutality!

Here's what you need to know so far:

February 13th., 2016
Meet for Brunch at Dawson Park, PDX and be ready to ride from there.
Brunch starts at 11 AM
Ride to the battle leaves at 1 PM
Shit-talking begins NOW!

2016 RULES!
This is mainly a formality since very little is changing, but here are the rules this year's organizers have decided on for Ben Hurt 2016. 

 1) Have fun, dammit. It's fun to fuck up your friends, but remember that we ARE friends.

 2) To be eligible to win, a team will consist of two people, one charioteer and one steed, a bike/trike/kickscooter/unicyclist and a chariot joined together by a hitch.

 3) Battlecars may enter but may not win. If there are enough entrants, we propose a separate battlecar expo demolition derby, which would be hella sweet.

 4) If any team member loses contact with their chariot, they're out. If your chariot is disabled, you're out. Cheaters are out. Goon Squad has final say.

 5) Spectators are not to fuck with chariots in any meaningful way.  You can hand someone a fallen weapon. Glitter/shaving cream balloon bombs, okay. Chili-flinging, gross, but okay. Build a chariot if you want to fight.

 6) If a battlecar is in the arena but not participating in the battle (like the hot tub), they are not to be fucked with.

 7) Goon Squad can and will blacklist spectators from the party and Sunday Olympics if these very simple guidelines are not followed.

 8) No chemical/biological weapons. Smoke bombs are okay, as is blood from a wound sustained in battle, but please don't bring pipe bombs or months old piss and rotten eggs. This applies to spectators as well as charioteers.

 9) Weapons must be padded. If you want to use an unpadded weapon ONLY against chariots, it must be painted bright orange. If you don't want it used against you, don't bring it.

10) deal with it.